Grief at the Holidays
There is a lot of talk of faith, hope, love, and joy at the holiday season. For those who are grieving or suffering from depression, it can be hard to access the comfort of these emotions. From a very young age, we learn that the holidays are a time spent with loved ones and that they mark the passage of time. When someone is missing from your life, the holidays compound the sadness because of these expectations. For many people, the wonder and magic of the holiday season is clouded with the hardships of life and the pain of grief.
If you or someone you know is feeling depressed or hopeless, please seek help. It is so important that everyone learn the risk signs of suicide so that we can intervene and find necessary support. Read more here.
For those who are grieving, there are a number suggestions and strategies that can help manage the increased emotions in the coming weeks.
HONOR YOUR LOST LOVED ONE
It may seem easier to move forward with traditions and rituals as they have always been, trying not to think about sadness. Many experts recommend that you take time to acknowledge your loss and talk about your loved one. He or she will always be part of your life, even if she or he is no longer with you. Find a way to honor and acknowledge them:
Share favorite stories or memories about your lost loved one
Light a special candle in honor of your loved one
Offer a special prayer
Eat some of his or her favorite foods
Write a letter to your lost loved one sharing your feelings
LEAN ON OTHERS FOR SUPPORT
It is important to seek support from others. If your family is also grieving, find a friend to talk to, or consider joining a support group. We are so grateful for the support we found through the Loving Outreach to Survivors of Suicide (L.O.S.S.) program. Though they are a Catholic Charity, the group is open to everyone surviving loss by suicide. There are many types of grief support groups. Find some of them here.
TAKE A BREAK FROM GRIEF
Grief can be all consuming. It is important to try to give yourself a mental and emotional break if you can. Finding relief is different for everyone. Some ideas include:
Mindfulness practice such as yoga or meditation
Exercise, even just taking walks
Restful moments with others such as watching a movie or playing a game
It is important to remember that everyone experiences grief differently and that there is no one answer. Explore what works for you and connect with others that offer you the right kind of support. Be gentle with yourself.
For those that are feeling well, reach out to others who are suffering and offer them kind words of love and support. Small gestures can have big impact.
A Prayer for Survivors
LORD, I need your help to survive,
A part of me’s gone, but I’m still alive.
Let me not be obsessed with “if onlys” and “whys.” Only you know the reason that somebody dies.
I must take time to weep, and smile when I can, And not be concerned with the judgments of man. Can I learn how to numb the everyday pain,
So that hollow inside me will not remain?
May I substitute goals for my feelings of guilt,
And not be ashamed of the life I have built.
Make me believe that the sadness will pass,
That joy will return to my being at last.
Finally, show me the way to reach others like me. Then I’ll know my survival was destined to be.
Therese Gump
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About Gabriel's Light
In 2019, Carol and Brendan Deely founded Gabriel’s Light in honor of their son who died by suicide at age 12. In honor of Gabe and all those lost to suicide, they share their journey with the hope that others may learn and grow from their tragedy. Focusing on three pillars of cyber safety, suicide prevention, and kindness campaigns, through outreach, programs, partnerships, and funding, they raise awareness and inspire youth, parents, and educators to take action and help forward their mission.