#ShareYourStory: Ally Z.

Ally is a 16-year-old junior in high school, a 3-year member of her school’s dance team, and founder of a small business. Spends her free time volunteering to help children with cancer. Loves to be around people, her family, music, and the ocean.

Ally was interviewed by Gabriel’s Light Youth Ambassador, Jasmeen.

ALLY’S STORY:

Jasmeen:

Hi everyone, my name is Jasmeen, and I am one of the Youth Ambassadors at Gabriel's Light. Today, I will be interviewing another Youth Ambassador from Gabriel's Light, Ally. So welcome, Ally!

Ally:

Hi! I'm so happy to be here today and to be able to share my story with everyone.

Jasmeen:

Let’s get right into it: what does mental health mean to you, Ally?

Ally:

Mental health is something that I feel like in my family has always been preached, so there was never a stigma around it when I was growing up. I was always taught to share how I felt and that all feelings were valid, but at the same time, growing up in a generation where a lot of things are on technology, and we kind of don't know how to communicate, mental health can get lost in translation.

I was growing and maturing when COVID happened, and definitely, my mental health took a toll during that, but I always try to keep a good mindset and take care of my well-being.

Jasmeen:

Definitely, during COVID a lot of people went through that phase, and there were a lot of cases of mental health coming up, so there were a lot of different ways people started to cope.

What are some ways that you coped with mental health during COVID?

Ally:

During COVID, I was definitely not in the best mental state because I was still so young, and I didn't know how to communicate with people. I was going through the different friend group phase and having new friends, and it was definitely hard, it was definitely stressful.

At the same time, being alone during lockdown, you learn a lot of things about yourself; I learned that when I get angry, I cry, and when I'm overwhelmed, I sometimes lash out. It was during COVID I recognized these things about myself and started to learn how to deal with them in better ways.

Jasmeen:

That’s so true, and I’m sure others had a really similar experience.

Since you were young, learning these new things, and growing as an individual, what could have been something that could have helped you, and who acted as a part of your support system?

Ally:

My support system has to be my mom; she is actually a mental health advocate and works in that field. Even during COVID, she was a great help, but I think last year, more so, she was really helpful. I was going through a really hard time; I was so busy with school, getting good grades, social life, and sports, and I was overwhelmed. I needed to take a break, and I needed to take a step back from some things. Ultimately, she was the one who helped me get through it, and it was amazing how she was there for me.

Jasmeen:

It's honestly great to have a very good support system, whether it's with mental health or just general support, and I think family is one of the greatest places to get that support. I'm really glad to hear that you have such a great mom and such a great family around you who were able to help you during this time. I hope that everyone, you know, has that kind of support system around them so that they don't feel alone.

What were some of the factors, other than COVID, that led you to struggle with mental health? You mentioned studying, but were there other things that you over-committed to? Or what were some other factors that led you to go through a tough situation?

Ally:

So, I'm a dancer, and I've been dancing my entire life. I was at this one studio that I had been dancing at my whole life, so I didn't know anything different, and there's also dance at school. I decided to juggle both, and I would go to school from 6:00 AM to 2:30 PM, practice from 2:30 PM to 5:30 PM, and then dance from 5:45 PM to 9:30 PM. Then, I would have to do it all over again the next day.

It wasn't like I was having an easy time at dance either. I was definitely the youngest member in the group, and looking back at it now, I could tell I was definitely depressed. I was most likely getting a little bit bullied by some of the older dancers. The situation just wasn't working for me, and I would always come home crying. I would bottle it up inside, and I didn't want any of my friends to know because I was always the friend who gave advice, not the one who needed it. So, that was definitely something that led me to get to where I was last year, and it was very stressful and a little scary, but I got through it with my support system, which is great.

Jasmeen:

There are so many young people who have a similar schedule to yours, you know, back-to-back-to-back-to-back, and they end up getting very little time of enjoyment from it. Even though I’m sure dancing was very fun for you, it can also be a place where things like bullying come into play.

Something like that can make people think about giving up. It sounds like you are still dancing and haven’t given up, so what advice would you give to someone who is going through a similar tough situation?

Ally:

The best advice is to never give up, no matter what. If you hit rock bottom there's only up from there. There's always going to be better days. Sometimes, you have to pull yourself out of the situation and look at it from a different perspective because when you're really in it and living it, you don't realize so many things. So, I definitely think that if you're overwhelmed, you need to find the things that make you happy, and I knew that the dancing at my school made me happy.

I never cried there, and it was a team that felt like a big family, and dancing at my studio wasn't like that. It was really hard to make the decision to quit because it was all I ever knew, but since I did, it’s been the best decision ever. My mental health has been so much better. I used to not get to actually enjoy life, and now I get to have more of a social life. I was getting defined by basically a number because it's so objective, dance, and it just wasn't a good place for me to be.

Sometimes it comes a little later that you realize what’s good for you and what isn’t, and sometimes it doesn't, but once you realize and get rid of that stressor, it really changes your life for the better.

Jasmeen:

It seems like you would advise everyone to just listen to their hearts and that better things and days do come for everyone.

When you made the decision to leave the studio, who helped you during that time, and how did you handle the situation?

Ally:

I definitely felt like I was a little bit alone during this situation, friend-wise, because I originally thought I was so close to these girls, and I'd known them since I was little. But it became clear that one person can really dictate a lot of people, and you really see who your true friends are and start to see what people's intentions are and who's a leader and who's not.

I think when I was going through this, of course, my mom was really helpful, but I also had some great coaches from my school dance team who helped me and told me that I was way better than dealing with all that. It was really helpful to hear it from not just your mom because sometimes you need to hear it from another person. Piggybacking off of that, I feel like my school friends surprised me when I was going through this by supporting my decision and saying things like, “We love it you can hang out now” and “It’s great you’re not always stressed, and doing work and can be around us more.”

Jasmeen:

It's great to see how some people are really encouraging around you. I'm very glad that you had that kind of environment where people actually motivated and encouraged you. And at the end of it all, you are still a great dancer and part of a team that makes you feel good.

Is there one specific person that you feel you can reach out to whenever you need help?

Ally:

I feel like I have definitely been saying that my main support system is my mom, but I also have a brother who, even though we butt heads, really does listen and gives really great advice. It's really nice to have him, as well as my dad who always knows what to say and stuff. I know all of them are always on my side, which is really nice.

Jasmeen:

Yes, family is always there for you, and I think that's one of the greatest places to seek advice. They've taught us a lot from day one and typically know us pretty well.

Moving on, it seems like you have been making really good decisions in your life, but what are some things that keep you hopeful and positive about your future?

Ally:

I'm definitely very school-oriented, and I definitely like getting good grades. I think I was in a bad place before because I'm a very high achiever, and balancing all those things at once was really stressful. In the future, I definitely want to graduate high school, go to college, and just honestly live day by day.

I’ve found that looking too far into the future can stress you out, and I'm definitely someone who gets a little anxious about that. So, taking it day by day and living in the moment has honestly been the best thing to keep me positive and hopeful about my future.

Jasmeen:

I think that is a great outlook to have!

Since you have had such a challenging phase in your life, and it seems like you have overcome it, what would you say to others who have thoughts of suicide or who have gone through a similar phase of life as you?

Ally:

I would definitely say that you're so young, and if you're going through something like this in high school, to realize that it's just one chapter of your life that you're living. Try not to let any thoughts or things take you over or consume you because once you get out of it, you’ll realize there's a whole other life to live and that there are so many things worth living for. Your life is so precious and sacred. Just don't ever give it up because there are always things to look forward to no matter what, and there's always up from wherever you are.

Jasmeen:

Yeah, I totally agree. In life, there are ups and downs, and I think giving up is the last thing a person should do. I would say that you should just continue seeking help, communicating with others, and finding the things that can make you happy.

That question concluded our interview. Thank you so much, Ally, for coming and giving great answers! You have given such valuable thoughts on mental health and how people can cope with stress and make good decisions. Thank you for your time, and I wish you the best of luck for your future!

Ally:

Thank you so much for having me; I had a great time. I think that being able to share your story and speak to others, especially when you feel like you have no one, really can help someone.

Jasmeen:

Definitely! These types of stories just give people more motivation and courage to never give up or lose hope.